Some circumstances can make it more challenging for a child and their caregivers to form a secure attachment. These may include:  

  • Abuse, neglect and trauma experienced by the caregiver or child
  • Parental mental health difficulties
  • Parental substance misuse
  • The child moving to live in multiple foster homes 
  • Parents being separated from their baby just after birth, for example if the baby is receiving neonatal care
  • Stress such as having a low income, being a single parent, or being a young parent
  • Bereavement or loss of another caregiver that a child had an attachment with
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As a result of their lived experiences, children and young people may feel unwanted, unsafe, and anxious. They may think they are unlovable and unworthy of affection, and ultimately feel rejected. Attachment issues often emerge as a pattern of behaviour over time, particularly during moments of stress or discovery.

This pattern might include:  

  • being fearful of or avoiding a caregiver
  • becoming extremely distressed when their caregiver leaves them, even for a short amount of time  
  • rejecting their caregiver’s efforts to calm, soothe, and connect with them  
  • not seeming to notice or care when their caregiver leaves the room or when they return
  • being non-responsive to their caregiver
  • seeming to be depressed or angry
  • not being interested in playing with toys or exploring their environment
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As children with attachment issues get older, these behaviours may change. As well as being evident during times of stress, some behaviours may start to become obvious at other times. These may include the child or young person:

  • finding it difficult to ask for help
  • may inaccurately read non-verbal cues and misinterpret communication
  • struggling to form positive relationships with adults and peers
  • struggling to concentrate
  • struggling to calm themselves down or control their emotions
  • both demanding and rejecting attention or support at the same time
  • becoming quickly or overly angry or upset, at times with no clear triggers
  • appearing withdrawn or disengaged from activities
  • daydreaming, being hyperactive or constantly fidgeting or moving
  • be very anxious
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We have a range of advice and ideas to help you support a child in your care who is struggling with attachment issues.