Christmas can be a very busy rewarding time for foster carers and the children and young people in their care but it can also be a time of heightened emotion for those separated from their families. Christmas may trigger memories of sadness or of happier times and some children/young people may not have experienced a family Christmas before. The wider narrative upon Christmas being a time to spend with families and loved ones may bring the child /young person’s separation from their family into a sharper focus. They may be emotionally overwhelmed or experience guilt at feeling happy within their foster family.
Here are our tips for over the festive period:
Listening carefully to the child/young person and providing additional support and reassurance can help.
Provide children and young people with information about any planned celebrations and check any traditions they may have experienced and may wish to incorporate within the family celebrations. Consider fun ways to make a child/young person feel included such as in Christmas crafting or baking sessions, putting together a festive playlist or choosing matching Christmas PJs!
Foster carers may be caring for children or young people of a different faith who do not celebrate Christmas, or foster carers may be of a faith that does not celebrate Christmas but may be caring for children/young people for whom Christmas has significance (which may be as a religious event or in respect of secular Christmas celebrations). Plan and discuss with your supervising social worker how festivals or other significant religious days will be celebrated and how to ensure that all the traditions of children young people and their foster family are respected.
Consider any traditions in light of the child/young person’s needs and experiences; a stocking at the end of the bed may be unsuitable if their bedroom is a private space or has difficult memories associated but may be welcomed under the tree.
Try to ensure family time/contact sessions are planned and agreed well in advance and help the child/young person choose or make a card/gift for their loved ones.
Check if any additional fostering allowances are available for the child/young person over the festive period within the payment policy from your fostering service.
Stick to a budget as it’s easy to get carried away with pressure to buy expensive gifts. Consider ways in which the overall costs of Christmas might be reduced e.g. secret Santa or mutual agreements to reduce present buying for the adults in the extended family? Can some decorations and/or food be homemade, or can agreements be made for guests to bring a contribution towards the celebration (perhaps a bring and share buffet)?
Christmas is not just about gifts. Some traditions/activities can be low cost or free such as a family walk after lunch or on boxing day, games such as charades or who am I? A festive film night at home with popcorn. If you have a membership service check their website for any discounts on days out/activities near you. Further ideas: https://www.forestryengland.uk/family-activity/christmas-family-activity-sheets https://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/curations/christmas-crafts https://www.twinkl.co.uk/blog/15-free-things-to-do-this-christmas
Large family celebrations may be overwhelming for some children. Talk through with them who will be coming in advance and the plan for the day.
Some children and young people may experience sensory overload with the noise, smells, additional toys and new routines. It may be helpful to space out gift giving (before and after lunch and into Boxing Day for example) and to keep some familiar structures/routines within the holiday period.
Be aware of internet safety issues; new items such as phones, tablets, and games consols may need to have safety measures such as parental controls put in place-is it possible to do this before the day itself?
Make sure you have provision of first aid items for minor health issues over the festive period and record any issues. Make a note of local pharmacy and GP opening times.
Have an assortment of spare batteries available to reduce frustration with new toys that may require these.
Consider use of alcohol in the home and at any parties etc. Be mindful that some children and young people will have abusive experiences that may be linked to alcohol. Your fostering service may have a policy on alcohol use that may be helpful to refer to regarding any expectations. Ensure all alcohol is safely stored away.
Consider how all household members use social media and if wider family are likely to be taking photos check what permissions are in place for children and young people in your care.
Kinship foster carers may find the time of year particularly emotive in relation to their own relationships with wider family members in addition to the feelings of the child in their care. Seek support for any emotional difficulties via your membership service or Fosterline counselling service https://fosterline.info/resources/counselling/
Check in advance who will be attending any wider family celebrations and if this will conflict with the care plan and family time/contact agreements in place. Agree strategies with your supervising social worker to manage situations in the event of a parent/carer attending an event if this is a possibility.
Christmas can put additional pressure on families with some children and young people needing foster families over the festive period. Let your fostering service know if you have space and availability to help and have extra generic presents available such as chocolates/toiletries/stationary just in case.
Have the telephone numbers of your fostering service and the responsible local authority to hand and details of the out-of-hour numbers and times of service. Fosterline will be closed on the 25th December and re-open on Friday 2 January 2026. https://fosterline.info/about-us/contact-us/--
Have realistic expectations of yourself. Let go of the pressure to have a “perfect Christmas” that is so often part of the build up to the festivities. Build in some self-care time whether that’s a walk, long bath or watching a favorite movie- you need time to relax. Christmas can be a time for making positive memories and the odd hiccup may be looked back on with humor and affection by everyone in years to come!
Fosterline would like to wish all foster carers and the children in their care a very happy Christmas and wonderful 2026!
