Fostering involves the whole family. Children of foster carers play a key role in the fostering household in welcoming children, and should be included at all stages of the assessment and fostering process. It can be challenging for children who find themselves sharing their parents with other children. However, many say that they have enjoyed their parents’ fostering and learnt from it including: how lucky they are, the importance of empathy, being kind, and the difference being a foster sibling can make to a fostered child or young person’s life. There is evidence that a proportion of children and young people from fostering families go on to become foster carers themselves or enter the caring professions, and feel that fostering enhances their empathy and life skills.
Fostering also affects the wider family who do not live in the fostering household. This may be adult children, children of foster carers who live with another parent and visit and other extended family members.
Prospective foster carers can talk to their wider family about how they may feel about them becoming foster carers, any changes in household routines they may need to know, any impact on family occasions and whether any emotional and / or practical support will be offered to them.
Foster Carers have to maintain confidentiality of the children and young people in their care so will be unable to share lots of information about them or the circumstances of the placement. Confidentiality has to be considered in the online world as well and will be part of a family’s safer care policy. Wider families members need to understand the reasons for this, and ensure they do not post photographs on any online or social media sites of family events that include the foster child unless this has been agreed with the fostering service/local authority and the child/young person. Safer caring training should address the issue of visitors to the fostering family household with the aim of reducing risk to keep everyone safe.
Communication is key in fostering and especially when dealing with children and young people in a fostering family. Make sure as a foster carer you maintain effective communication with the social workers and all the children in the household. Listen to any worries or concerns and act on them in accordance with the relevant policies within the fostering service.
Things to consider
- Research suggests that it is preferable to have a reasonable age gap – either way – between carers own children and those they foster.
- Some fostering services run groups that support children of foster carers and the families.
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The supervising social worker should make time to speak to foster carers children when visits are undertaken.
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Assessments should involve the whole family, not just the parents.
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While fostering, decisions about placements need to be family decisions. Where children are part of making decisions there is more chance of the placement being successful.
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When helpful and suitable support is in place for children of foster carers, placements are more successful and less likely to break down.
How foster carers can support children
- Help their birth child understand enough of the child’s background to make sense of behaviour and any strategies in place.
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Agree a Family Safer Care Plan with their children to minimise risks and agree boundaries and include rules around use of the internet and content of any posts and regularly update their internet safety training.
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Not accepting risks or harm that would be unacceptable for children in a non fostering family.
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Make sure children and young people have an adult outside the family they can talk to. Agree this in advance with the fostering service due to confidentiality.
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Agree a ‘story’ for times your son or daughter has to answer questions from people outside of the family about children coming and going.
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Be aware that allegations can be made against children of foster carers, not just their parents. Have a support strategy in place in case this occurs.
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Recognise the effort of their birth children. Think about giving them a certificate, thank you note or additional rewards to recognise the things which a child in a non-fostering family wouldn’t be expected to do.
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Protect time with each child to do things alone. This might be when a fostered child has contact, has gone to bed or is doing activities.
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Ensure reassurance is provided to birth children about their own importance and rights to privacy.
