Male foster carers

Men can foster as a single person, or as part of a couple whether married, in a civil partnership or co-habiting. As with other foster carers they may spend most of their time on their fostering role or may have a full or part-time job outside the home.

Being a male foster carer can be challenging due to societal attitudes that often still assume women to be the traditional care giver. Men who foster who are from a Black, Asian, and Minority Ethnic (BAME) background, and/or who are gay or trans (LGBTQ+), may have multiple negative assumptions made about them and their role as a foster carer.

Every foster carer has unique skills, experiences and abilities that they bring to the fostering task, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or culture. Fostering services are keen to recruit a diverse range of foster carers to meet the differing needs of looked after children. This is to address the shortage of foster carers across England, but also improve placement choice and matching.

A male foster carer can:

Offer a stable loving home
Encourage resilience in young people by engaging in activities
Increase positive role models of male behaviour
Enable children to build trusting relationships with men that are caring and non-threatening
Challenge stereo types and model appropriate use of power and authority

All foster carers need to think about safer caring issues and for male foster carers this can be a challenging aspect of the role.

A child’s past experience may make them feel less safe with a male, and make misinterpretation of behaviour more likely. However, avoiding contact with men is not good for the child’s future wellbeing. The safer care policy needs to be reviewed regularly taking into account the needs of the child to minimise risks to all household members.

Any single carer will need to ensure they have a support network for practical and emotional support. This may include family and friends, community resources, access to a fostering buddy, or Mockingbird hub family. The matching of the child to the carer may also require careful thought ,and new foster carers should resist a need to “prove their ability to foster” if they are concerned about meeting the specific needs of that child.

The assessment will require information about household finances to demonstrate there will be stability for any child placed. You can check with the fostering service what details they will require. The fostering service will also provide details of the allowance you will receive to care for a child and any fee or reward payments available.

The process of assessment can feel intrusive but strict privacy and data protection rules will apply. Applicants can ask fostering services to confirm how any information is recorded shared and stored if there are any concerns about this. The assessment process is a robust process, but all applicants should be treated fairly and respectfully by fostering services. If you have concerns, you can make a complaint using the complaints procedure.

Good communication, effective record keeping and open discussions about real life explanations of safer caring may help male foster carers feel more confident in their role.

Fostering services may provide targeted training on safer care and on “Men who Foster” and may facilitate a men’s support group for exchanging tips and ideas. They may also have a membership service in place to offer their foster carers free access to legal advice and other support services.

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